Life by design

Another wedding


My sister Melissa was married on Sat and I just don't know that the Kings are cut out for weddings! The wedding was beautiful, but for our group—it's inevitable that the day after is the pits. 

The celebration was held in Carbondale IL, and on Sunday morning I am riding back up north with my brother Alex. We both had a lot of fun the night before and I found myself wondering if I could survive the 5-hour road trip. We need gas before we get on the highway, Note: my last blog post is when the Kings began trend-setting gas station stories!! I had the passenger seat reclined back and had my eyes closed while Alex fueled up. When my brother stepped back into the car and announced "Oh sh*t". I open one eye and say, "Don't even tell me you lost the keys!" He laughs and sticks the key into the ignition and says, "No, Meg...but I wonder what would happen if I filled up my gas tank with Diesel fuel". "Hmmmm, it's probably not great, but...we better call Dad to be sure."  "You gotta be $%#**ing kidding me, he screams into the phone. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU KIDS!!??!!" Then Dad asks if we've turned the ignition on...which we hadn't, and I feel very triumphant relaying that information! He's with my mom at the reception site picking up tablecloths. He says that my Uncle Jeff (a different Uncle Jeff from the previous wedding blog) is probably not too far behind us and to call him until he can meet us.

Uncle Jeff just laughs when we tell him that we filled up the gas tank with diesel fuel, "I'm surprised the Diesel nozzle would even FIT into Alex's tank". Which, Alex admitted in a defeated yet sarcastic tone, "It was difficult, but I guess I'm NOT a quitter!" Uncle Jeff, only a few miles behind us, assures us that he's pulling over but has no idea who we can find to drop the gas tank. I call my sister Meredith next. I am not sure why I am even laughing as Mere and her boyfriend pulled into the gas station. Perhaps it's the fierce hangover kicking in, or the nerves of my uneasy stomach, but I really can't believe we are stranded at another gas station! I speak to the attendant and she tells us "$h*t happens, good luck git-ina mechanic on-er Sunday!" We know we need the gas out of the tank, so I suggest siphoning it out with a long plastic tube and a bucket! I saw Dad empty our large fish tank this way when I was a kid! Meredith's boyfriend says he will drive Mere's car to Walmart if Alex wants to pick up the stuff.

Mere and I wait for Uncle Jeff while the boys take off, and when he arrives he is with my Aunt Linnie and cousin Danielle. This is beginning to look like a circus and we are managing to attract attention! People want to help us, but the only dude who sticks around keeps mumbling something about free gas. He is circling the car (I wish I had saved the snap chats I kept taking of him). Uncle Jeff thinks that siphoning could work!! He doesn't have any other ideas, as businesses are not open on Sunday. My cell rings...and it’s Alex. They got a hose and a bucket...but Meredith's car won't start now and he assumes the ignition key is still in Meredith's purse! Gah, so Uncle Jeff is on his way to Walmart to bring them the car keys when Mom and Dad pull into the gas station. We crack the window to hear Dad talking to the creepy mumbling guy, and both parents are delighted to find that Uncle Jeff is now rescuing Alex from Walmart.

The mood peaked when we stuck the hose into the gas tank and realized that a 2015 car had a filter over the tank to prevent people from SYPHONING GAS! This is when I opened a beer, my aunt promptly handed me one of Melissa's wedding koozies.

So, Uncle Jeff and Dad push the car off the cement so the car is leaning to one side, and they spread out one of Melissa's wedding tablecloths to lay on. Uncle Jeff is the keeper of all the tools and fortunately, he could get under the car to eventually un-attach the tank. Now we can bypass the filter and get the hose into the tank to siphon. It takes for-flipping-ever to get 10 gallons of gas through a tube the width of my finger!

6 hours later, the mumbling guy was still circling—but that turned out to be great because how else do you dispose of 10 gallons of diesel fuel that has been mixed with regular? The sun was setting as we finally arrived home, but we were looking forward to spending a week together in Mexico for the after-party!